Wednesday, February 18, 2009


Mkay, so I work at a coffee shop. It was a slow day. A majorly slow day. And I had a shot of espresso. Apparently, being hyper makes me think of really, really random ideas, and today was no different.

And today, I had a plan. I would test the levels of stupidity of our customers.

I started by writing out a sign on a slip of paper, reading:

"The straws are temporarily out of order. Sorry for the inconvenience. - Management"

I figured, how obviously stupid is that? Here we have a perfectly good cup full of normal straws, with a sign saying they are "out of order." I was pretty sure people were going to call my bluff pretty quickly.

The first lady who came in after I posted the sign ordered an iced tea. She walked to the condiment (??) table, read the sign, and picked up a small red stirring straw that I forgot to get a picture of. The straw barely reached over the top of the cup, and I mean barely. I couldn't help giggling after she left.

Next was a police officer. He read the sign, looked at the straws, and decided they were worthy of use. I breathed a sigh of relief: his lack of stupidity put a bit more faith in the policemen I have generally I have little faith in.

The rest of the day was pretty much uneventful and the same; about half of the customers took red stirring straws and the other half ignored my sign. One lady asked in a loud voice How in the world can a straw be out of order?! My thoughts exactly, ma'am, my thoughts exactly.

The best part, though, happened right before I left. I had been waiting for this all day. A teenager, maybe 16 or 17, ordered his drink and went for a straw. By this time, my coworker had come in and was in on the trick. The kid read the sign, tried to look at the straws, and then came back to the counter with a confused look on his face.

"The, uh, straws? Are... uh...?"
"Oh yeah!" I said, smiling helpfully. "Let me get you one."
I go to the back and get a straw from a stash I had set aside 'specially for this moment. I manage to hand it to him - the exact same straws as is in the cup - with a straight face. He still looks confused as he says his thanks and leaves.

Then, we can't stop laughing. I remove the sign as I take off for the night, with plans for the napkins next time.


James said...

:D, there's gotta be someone :D

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