Thursday, April 8, 2010

a culture of real women

A quick post for two things:

1. After researching the ad issue (and getting feedback from people like James in the comments of the previous post), I don't think ads would be either feasible or profitable. So, no ads!

2. I came across this article about feminism and being a "housewife" called "Today's Homemaker - Not What You Expected?" It's an amazing, empowering, and beautiful illustration of womanhood. Some things she says:

"We are a culture of real women, with real families and problems, but also a real understanding of the importance of our work in and among our homes and communities. We see a desperate need to return to a more simplistic way of living–for the health and good of all.

We are sharp; we are thinking women; we read; we have voracious appetites for learning and for teaching our children those things.

We understand the very real fact that humans need serenity, and we make it one of our jobs to create that for as many as we can around us.

We try to look around us and see if we can meet the practical needs of others."

Interestingly enough, many of the qualities listed don't even necessarily pertain exclusively to married women with children, but things that are just good to do. Helping others? Striving for serenity and peace? Returning to a more simplistic, less-materialistic way of living? Aren't these things any girl or woman would be admired for doing?

I greatly encourage you (even if you're a guy! Good to know what chicks are up to these days) to read this article. Thoughts*, disagreements, or additions are welcomed in the comments.

*I don't moderate, so be nice. Off-topic comments are now re-welcomed because Leah says so. :D

17 comments:

Leah said...

Very interesting article. I entirely agree.

Thanks, I'll try to be nice. :) My email is working now!! so FOR NOW I won't spam your comments...

Joshua said...

My likey this post! :-P

It's so true, the picture of ideal womanhood has really been distorted to two different extremes. One sees women either fulfilled and self-actualized in an independent working atmosphere out of the home, and the other sees women as nothing more than slaves at home, toiling endlessly to care for her husband and children. I don't think either view is Biblical! We've been told for so long by culture that a true perspective on womanhood is degrading and demeaning when the reality is just the opposite. I believe God gave men and women each their own respective roles for a purpose and each are equally important. I wouldn't even want to try and do what my mom does! :-p Great article! :)

Anonymous said...

I guess this was kinda what I was trying to get at when I said woman should see running the house as fulfilling. But as we know I am not the best at writing...

YAY Leah!

James said...

I disagreed with some of the article, such as:
"We are on a never-ending quest to save money because “a dollar saved is more than a dollar earned,” and our husbands treasure that quality in us."

A dollar foolishly spent, we'd rather was saved, but this language seems to imply it consumes time. Foolish if the Lord provides well enough. Work an hour to save a dollar, and you've worked at a rate of $1 an hour. There's a right balance.

However, I'd be more likely to agree if it said something like:
"We are careful in our use of time and resources, budgeting and taking precautions as homemakers to manage our domain wisely"
Or something like that, it's just a quick scribble of thought :)

Mr. Anon :-p said...

James,

Would you explain your second paragraph please. I think I may understand what you're trying to say, but i'm not entirely certain.

Fachtna said...

Hi Tiph,

I've been following your blog for awhile now, and am just now getting around to commenting. :)

I read these articles. Are you agreeing that women shouldn't work outside the home-that the entire responsibility of women is to cook, clean house, have kids, ect.? What about when you get married, before you have kids, are you just going to sit around at home and bake?

Also, in the article you posted a few days ago, the one that a guy wrote that basically said they have won the war (have gotten women to play into their hands, purposely stepping aside and letting them think they're getting it all by working, ect.). When women first really began coming into the workforce was during the world wars. The men were gone; the logical thing to happen was for the women to take over jobs so that things could still happen back home while men were fighting. THere was a difference in what happened after WW1 and WW2 (in the first, most women quit their jobs as opposed to the second where a great many stayed in the workforce.) Are you saying that's wrong?

Nowdays, some people must not realize that some women actually work because they like it, and like the paycheck. Some have a very real need to work, depending on the circumstances.

I think staying home is great and all that, depending on your circumstances, so please don't think I'm trying to dis what you've said. There are just other things to take into consideration.

tiph said...

James - Would you not agree that no matter how wealthy or well-off a family is, it is still better to try and save wherever is possible? The idea behind the concept is that, Yeah, I might make $300,000 a year or $80,000 a year, but I'm still going to try to not buy that excessive item (which, granted, "excessive" is defined much differently when you make $300,000 a year), and when I do make a purchase, do it in a way that might save more if you bought at This Places as opposed to That Place.

tiph said...

Fachtna - Hi and thanks for commenting! :D I really appreciate it the questions.

"Are you agreeing that women shouldn't work outside the home-that the entire responsibility of women is to cook, clean house, have kids, ect.? What about when you get married, before you have kids, are you just going to sit around at home and bake?"

Absolutely not!! I'm sorry that I've made it sound this way. Let me tell you a bit about me just so you can know what I believe - I was homeschooled. After I graduated, I went to college, and I successfully finished two years before I was needed at home due to my little brother having a kidney transplant with my mother being the donor. I've stayed home for a year now, doing a few online classes, but basically running the home (I have a total of 6 siblings; the youngest just turned 1). In May, I will resume going to college (my degree is in electrical engineering). I plan to get a job and work as an engineer until the time that I have kids (I have no idea when that will be).

So, what will happen when I have kids? Well, I'll probably have my hands full with new-parenting stuff (calling my mom every five minutes, etc), so I can't see that I'll be doing much in the way of, well, anything at all the first few months. But, will I stay home and mess with my kids and bake and sew and teach my children? Absolutely. I wouldn't have children to send them off for someone else to raise them, and I don't view that as a threat to my independence or strength as a woman. With a child, I'll be trying to raise it to (eventual) independence of his/her own.

"When women first really began coming into the workforce was during the world wars. The men were gone; the logical thing to happen was for the women to take over jobs so that things could still happen back home while men were fighting."

Nope. :) As I said earlier, I don't think there is anything wrong with a woman being in the workplace. But, I do think it's wrong when a woman is doing anything that interferes with her ability to care (fully) for her family. That doesn't just mean working in a workplace. That means if a woman is staying at home with her kids and decides to, oh I don't know, for example's sake she reads mommy blogs and watches soap operas all day and leaves her children mostly untended and her other things undone, then that's wrong as well. Working outside the home is not inherently bad. Anything that keeps a woman from caring for her family is.

Which connects to your other statement, "Some have a very real need to work, depending on the circumstances."
In a case such as that, not working would actually inhibit her from caring for her family!

You're right, there are lots of varying circumstances, and I don't even try to say that my way is the best way. (I do know, however, that God's way is the best way.) The article in this post was simple giving reasons for why a woman stays at home, not reasons to convince someone that she needs to stay at home. It's a Manifesto of sorts. It's saying, I'm not the stay-at-home mom you might think I am. I'm not unfulfilled, depressed, oppressed by Mankind, or desperate. I'm here because I choose to be, because I believe this is what God has for me and that this is the best way for so many different reasons.

I wouldn't begin to point the finger and say that this woman or that woman is "doing it wrong." I hope to make people question preconceived beliefs.

Sorry for the very long comment. I actually might make this a blog post later, lol!

James said...

"Would you not agree that no matter how wealthy or well-off a family is, it is still better to try and save wherever is possible?"

Do I tear up the free newspaper I get on the bus into small squares, or do I buy toilet paper?
If I can comfortably afford to buy some luxuries, I will. If I can't, I shouldn't.

When money is tight, saving an extra $10 a week for an extra 3 hours work, is not worth it. Simply working 3 hours one morning/evening will actually earn more than twice that.
It is often easier to earn more in some way, than to save the same amount in cutbacks. If you simply spend carefully already, saving more is incredibly difficult.

Our time is very valuable, and we waste it too easily. Trying to save an extra few pennies could be the devil's way of keeping us from seeing to our own souls.

Matthew 6:
30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?
31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Anon said...

James,

Sometimes the only way to get any extra money is to save, there is not always work to be had. Yes, we do need to be aware of our time, and the relationship between that and how much we're saving by say, making laundry soap at home, but we should always be aware of ways to save. Now I would probably say, for a couple, it may really be cheaper to buy soap, than make it, but if you have a large family (even just 6 to 8 people) it probably will be cheaper to make it yourself.

If saving money becomes your god, than yes that is a problem, but if you simply try and be thrifty thats not a bad thing.

Maybe I'm not understanding what your point is with that scripture, but it seems to me your are misunderstanding the point of it. The main thrust of this passage is that we should not be excessively worried about how we are going to provide for ourselves and our families. We should certainly plan and take into consideration the future, as is evident other places in scripture, but we should not be incredibly worried about that. God is sovereign over all, and especially as His children, He will make sure we are taken care of. Will it always be the level of comfort we want? No it won't be, but God will always make sure we have what we need.

tiph said...

James - I'm not entirely sure what the relation is between saving pennies and working an extra three hours on a given morning in regards to that being the devil's way of keeping us from our spiritual duties. How is the saving pennies possibly evil and a waste of time, but the three hours of work not? I'm not following you logically in that regard. :)

I agree with what Anon said in reference to the verses you quoted, and want to reiterate that generally speaking, people aren't usually able to choose to work three extra hours one morning because they decide they need the cash. Such a job is ideal, but probably only likely if one is self-employed or, I don't know, working on commission or something?

Anon - funny that you should mention making laundry soap; we make our own and it's about time to do another batch if we want clean clothes, lol!

Anon said...

For some reason that is the example I always think about lol. If we had the time we actually might (this is a good example for the discussion lol), but there are only 4 of us, so I don't know how efficient that would really be. Not to mention, pretty much every day we are all busy, I hate that its true, but I'm either at work or school, and then when I'm home I'm tired... So for us at the moment, its not the most feasible thing to do, in the future perhaps, but just not now.

I realize this is slightly off topic hehe, and if you want to address it later thats fine, but how do y'all make laundry soap?

meinChrist said...

Anon, just in case you're interested in trying--it takes a total of 15 minutes to grate the bar of soap (an entire one for about 5 gallons, incidentally), melt it down...oh, we have a gas stove so it may take a bit longer if you're on a slower electric stovetop...pour the borax and washing soda along with the 5 or so gallons of water to mix. Here's the link to the recipe, of which the ingredients I've been able to find at the local grocery stores cheaper than online thus far: http://www.soapsgonebuy.com/category_s/24.htm
This post has reminded me, yet again, we've got a BIG family and it's time to do more laundry lol

Fachtna said...

Tiph- Thanks for explaining more in detail what you meant. I wasn't trying to cause a problem or read into things so forgive me. A post about these things would be interesting. A new perspective, coming from your background (totally different than mine) is something good to see as the things I've heard/people I've been around are always pushing for women to work, put kids in school, ect. Anyways, this is rather new to me so again thank you for explaining.

James said...

What I'm pushing towards is that the lady of Proverbs 31 is commended for buying and selling. v22, she makes her own clothes, and using the same skills sells cloth v24.
By work, I wasn't arguing for seeking employment.

Today, isn't it easier as home/handmade goods actually sell for a premium price?

tiph said...

There you go Anon, that's how we make laundry soap. :D

Fachtna - No no, you didn't cause any problem or anything!! Apologies if I made you feel that way! I welcome questions and opinions. :) I think I should do a series or something.

James - Ah, okay.
Um, not necessarily, as getting into the market and able to sell the stuff can be a bit tricky. But still, I understand your point.

Anonymous said...

http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2010/04/08/struggling-with-time-debt/

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Tiph used to be this weird hippie chick who sewed things and drank tea and rode bikes and wrote silly things. Then, college came along, and now she's this weird hippie chick with math in her brain and notebooks full of indefinite integrals. And hardly any time to write. This is her space. Thankfully, space is a vacuum and any complaints you may have cannot be heard.

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